May 21, 2009

Attack of the Bird

Filed under: Daily Life — jodygambrell @ 1:00 pm


While watching American Idol on Tuesday night, I heard a strange noise coming from the fireplace.  I ignored it at first thinking it was just an echo of Adam Lambert screaming.  After a while, the strange noise went away.  We paused American Idol (the beauty of a DVR) so that Jaime could feed Avery and I started playing NBA Live ’09 (I’m in the 2nd round of the playoffs with the New Orleans Hornets).  Just as I started the game, I heard a loud thud come from the fireplace.  I paused the game to investigate and that’s when it happened.

As I stood up, a bird started to fly directly at my face!  Scenes from the Alfred Hitchcock movie started racing through my head.  I immediately hit the deck and crawled into the nursery to protect my wife and child.  God has blessed Jaime with many spiritual gifts but at this moment, mercy was not one of them.  She couldn’t care less about the fear on my face.  She wanted that bird out of the house and she expected me to figure out a way to do it!  In her mind, a silly bird was not going to get our baby off “schedule”.

I never really notice birds when I’m outside unless they poop on my truck or something.  But, when a bird is bouncing around your living room like a pinball in a pinball machine, they suddenly demand your attention.  I could not let my wife call her father over to handle this crisis.  On our wedding day, I took that responsibility from her dad (but it sure would’ve been nice if it weren’t so late and he lived closer).

I finally worked up enough courage to enter the living room to face the bird.  I closed all the adjacent doors to confine the bird to one central location.  I let our dog Rascal in for moral support.  This was the one and only time that i wished Rascal were a cat.  Needless to say, Rascal was not much help.  He saw the bird but he was more interested in the front door being open so he took the opportunity to go mark his territory on my mailbox which has become the neighborhood “pee pole” for all passing dogs.

After several unsuccessful attempts (my attempts = waiting for the bird to fly out the door) of catching this bird, I swallowed my pride and called Caleb over for his much needed assistance.  This move caused me to lose “hero” status points with my wife, but as Caleb stated best, “This was a tw0-man job”.  We grabbed a broom, garbage bag, and a box and went to work.  The bird eventually tired itself out and landed on a decorative palm tree on top of our china cabinet.  Caleb grabbed the palm tree and escorted the intruder out our front door.  Thank you Caleb!  God continues to give me material to use with my middle school audience.



  1. Correction: Two men and one Rascal job.

    Comment by Jasper Woodcock — May 26, 2009 @ 1:35 pm

  2. This is a great story! We have a bird story that is similar and a “tail” involving our apartment dwelling lizard.

    Comment by Miriam Vinson — June 17, 2009 @ 8:00 pm

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